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Sooshi branded on my cyber batty, Sarah in reality
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| Did you know.. |
[01 Sep 2006|01:32am] |
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mood |
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 Nerd, what? |
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music |
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Modest Mouse ~ The Moon & Antarctica |
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...how the moon actually effects the ebb & flow of the tides? No? Me either.
It's all about gravity apparently.
"..The gravitational pull of the moon tugs on the surface of the ocean until its surface mounds up and outward in the direction of the moon. When the mound of water has reached its highest point it is called high tide. On the side of the earth opposite the moon, the centrifugal force caused by the earth’s rotation produces another mound of water and high tide on the opposite side of the earth."
Well, it makes sense, doesn't it.
=]
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| Reasons to be absent (from life)..1,2,3... |
[31 Aug 2006|03:05am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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It's 3am, people be sleeping. Sha. |
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This isn't an update per se, that is to say that yes I am updating my journal, but it's not necessarily a "this is what I've been doing" entry because I haven't been "doing" all that much, and it's not a "This amazing thing happened to me recently" kind of update, because there hasn't been much amazing. That I can remember anyhow. This "update" is more a backdate, a entry for reasons or explanations as to why I haven't been "doing".
Ok, so life; life is kind of getting to me. Not in the sense that I want to run to the cupboard and stuff my face full of 500 little white painkillers (a little excessive, I know, maybe 150 would do) & end my so called life, but I just got tired of living and doing. I got lazy. I got self-conscious. I got sick of people (no one in particular).
All I seem to do these days is think. Think of people I miss (cue a couple tears)/ things I miss doing/ plans I miss making. Think of all the embarrasing/ drunkenly stupid/ awful/ ridiculous (circle the one that applies) things I have done in my life and cringe, then try and block it out by thinking of money and stuff I could buy with it if I could get ahold of enough of the stuff. Think of all the good times, the drunk times, the stoned times, the fun times, the great times I've had in my life, which then leads on to thinking of the embarrasing/ drunkenly stupid/ awful/ ridiculous, ect, which leads on to thinking of material goods and wanting to get my greedy hands on it all. Tis a vicious cycle and one that has been going on for a while. I sometimes think so much I can't actually do. And when I stop thinking and try and block it out, I end up ignoring the problem and forgetting about the solution. Or blocking it out with ridiculous and pointless time consuming things; i.e; stupid & childish internet games. Hello runescape you are my friend and my enemy. God, I sound pathetic, but it's good to be honest with myself and get it in writing before I wimp out and go through my ignorance is bliss type of mentality.
I seem to try and do as little as possible these days. And in doing as little as possible I'm loosing any will to do anything at all. Little by little my "get up and go", as my mum would call it, has got up and gone.
I've been reading a lot; which doesn't take much "doing", quite a bit of sitting, maybe some slouching, but not much actual doing, which is the reason for me reading a lot. I may have to put this down to the fact that it gets me out of my so called life for a while. Yep. That's probably it.
I've been going through any anti-chick-lit book I can find. I can't stand those self-richeous "happily ever after, girl gets guy, guy gets girl" woman orientated literary crap that I used to read. I've lost faith in any of that, not that I had much to begin with. I've read 'Lovely Bones' & 'Lucky' both about rape; one fiction, one not, both by the same amazing writer ~ Alice Sebold. I've also read 'The Virgin Suicides', 'Girl, Interrupted', 'Memoirs of a Giesha', 'The Little Friend', 'My Best Friends Girl' (exception to the anti-chick-lit crap catagory), plus a couple/ half dozen others. And I'm on the last hundred pages of the seven hundred page "doorstop of a read" called 'The Historian'.
I have no intention of carrying this on & turning it into a readers corner type of entry, so I'll leave it at the fact that I've been reading a lot. Which I think you may have picked up on.
Whoa. I'm actually quite mentally & physically tired (it is 3am), a bit wiped out by all of this and maybe a little bored too, so I'm going to stop here. There is quite a bit more "being honest with myself" shite to come and a lot of it is about things I don't want to be honest about. I don't like appearing vulnerable. I don't like sharing my real problems. My real hang-ups. I like to share a bit and then add a splash of humour and a dash of sarcasm to cover the rest. I'm doing it now, I know. Eh, piffle. La fin.
~& I'm out.
Soosh
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| Picture post! I love new toys |
[25 Mar 2006|02:26am] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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Ladytron playing on loop in my head |
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I've just been having a blast messing about with my new play thing. I had no idea how much fun could be had with such a gismo. Oh la la!
( ...and on with the show! )
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| Ha! |
[02 Feb 2006|05:07am] |
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mood |
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 drunkard |
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music |
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buzzy buzzy computer |
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I've only just got home, I'm so, so drunk and it's my 23rd birthday!
I had the most random night. =]
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| Like lambs to the slaughter, following that flock |
[22 Jan 2006|06:11pm] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
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music |
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Title music to Alone in The Dark |
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I sent the following in an email to Leon last night and decided that it needed a more public arena, so here it is...
Agreed, it's just a re-hash of old opposing groups of people, just change the label and all of a sudden it's shiny and new. Apparently.
Get yourself a different uniform and, bang, a new sub-culture is formed. Where everyone is desperately clinging to the rules to stay in the "gang". Wear this! Listen to these bands/ this music! Talk like this! Do this! And you know what: they all do it. They all stick to the rules like trained bloody monkeys.
There are a vast majority of people that worry far too much about what they're wearing, what music they're listening to, if they have the 'right' kind of friends. They obsess about having the right kind of image. How they are seen by their peers. That want to be seen by everyone to be scene enough. They're the most arrogant assholes out there. I wouldn't worry too much about Chavs/ Pseudo goths/ townies; they aren't half as bad as those scene fucktards.
It's as bad as the old Mod and Rocker days, but with these Scenekids eclipsing all those around them with their gargantuan, air filled, craniums. They inter-fight as well as acting superior to everyone else. It's all about covering their puny egos by being obscenely supercilious. It's almost laughable when you think about it.
I must admit that there have been times I've fallen into this trap, but I skip to my own beat; dance to my own drum these days. Sometimes I find myself slipping back into these old roles but then stop myself before I get in too deep. =]
Clothes are great to play around with, to create an image for yourself, but you never wear something because everyone else is. What's the point of that? It shows a distinct lack of imagination.
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| Through the looking glass |
[19 Jan 2006|02:24am] |
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mood |
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artistic |
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music |
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The sound of silence: it's almost defening |
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I painted this a while ago actually. I'd completely forgotten about it until about an hour ago, so I took some pictures of my painted face for you all to see( ... )
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armyofjuan's journal
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